Set in a post-apocalyptic future where radiation has sterilised most of the human race and also created a race of mutant frog people, Roddy “Rowdy” Piper plays ‘Hell’- a surviving drifter who is one of the rare fertile men left on the planet.
He’s picked up by a female-led government faction charged with repopulating the human race, and forced to sign a contract to have sex with and fertilise as many women as possible- for humanity’s sake! (I realise that so far this sounds like a porno but I promise it’s not).
Hell is fitted with an electronic chastity belt-type device marked “Property of Provisional Government” that’s rigged to explode if he strays too far from his sexy female guard Spangle. Spangle is trained in the art of seduction, and charged with making sure he fulfils his contract (Played by Sandahl Bergman whom you may recognise from Conan the Barbarian and Red Sonja).
Trouble brews when a harem of fertile women from a border town are kidnapped by mutant frogs and turned into sex slaves by the evil Commander Toty. It’s up to Hell and his sexy guards to rescue them, so he can literally bone them all! (Sorry, still not a porno).
Hell and Spangle infiltrate Toty’s palace by dressing Spangle in bondage gear and pretending that she’s Hell’s prisoner. They head to the bar with plans to do a fake trade so they can sneak into the harem, but their plans go awry when Bull, a particularly nasty frog with an eyepatch (because he’s evil) steals Spangle away, leaving Hell to attempt a daring rescue while also staying in range of her transponder so his balls don’t explode.
Along the way he meets an exotic dancing frog mutant named Arabella who has the hots for him (since his reputation as a baby maker precedes him) and he briefly considers a tryst with her as long as she wears a sack over her head. (More bondage porno undertones).
Meanwhile the for-real-kidnapped Spangle starts her initiation into the harem. She is forced to dance for her life- the dance of the three snakes! Despite no-one ever teaching her the right dance moves, she totally wings it using her seductive arts, and soon finds out why it’s called the dance of the three snakes.
In true kick-ass Rowdy Roddy style he shows up right in the nick of time with a big gun, to rescue Spangle and his future baby mammas from Toty’s palace.
They flee into the desert toward the border with their bad-ass getaway driver and fellow guard Centinella (Cec Verrell) while Commander Toty pursues them in his Mad Max- style tank. Little does Hell know that an enemy from his past is also about to cross their paths. Will he ever get to complete his contract to impregnate the women, and canoodle with Spangle, or is the continuation of the human race (and his love life) doomed?